Ever heard “the truth shall set you free”? Let me amend that: “The truth shall set you free, but you don’t have to be mean about it”. By the way, I am not talking about the dialogue you have with your family, friends, and associates. I am talking about the internal dialogue you have with yourself. The message of this post is: don’t B.S. yourself.
When you set a goal, expectation, or objective for yourself and don’t achieve it, admit your result. Not that you failed, but that you did not uncover the right way to achieve success as of yet. Use the intense emotion you are feeling as motivation to improve the next time you focus on a goal. Follow the below simple three-steps and see if it makes even the smallest difference for you, it did for me.
When you miss the mark, ask yourself privately the following questions, and answer yourself.
- Could someone else in the world have succeeded with the same exact situation? (Realistic with yourself)
- Who would the person be, and how can I learn a different perspective from them? (Open minded to learn)
- Is it worth my time to even go down this path? (Passion for the cause)
If it is not worth your time, effort, stress, or risk, then let it go. Letting things go when you are a competitive person is NOT the easiest thing to accomplish. I am really talking to myself here. My issue is I overly punish myself when I miss the mark. I rarely forgive myself, and that is not healthy. Also, I blame myself for my teams decisions. Have you ever done the same? Some of my goals simply were not important enough to me to take the steps or actions to ensure success. That might answer why I did not do well in the first place.
However, when the quest is worthy (from our perspective), the three questions give us a very positive outlook and approach for our next attempt. So the message is “Don’t B.S. a B.S.er”. Shoot yourself straight. Take that pain and disappointment and turn it into motivation when you really care about the outcome from the heart.